It Came From the Drain!
July 17 · by Stuart
"Slugworth" adorns shower, much to the dismay of residents
MORRISVILLE, N.C. -- Who knows what disgusting horrors abound from the shower drain at 1112 MacAlpine Circle? Most likely, the people who live there. One fateful morning, poor unsuspecting bath-goer John Minnich stumbled into the bathroom for a daily shower only to find... a SLUG! A wild slug had somehow appeared in the shower, much to the surprise of our brave shower-seeker. “Gasp!” he likely gasped, or at least he did in our reenactment, which is not for children or the faint of heart.
The pest authorities were soon called in, but nothing would stop the little slug that could, who continued to appear at least bi-weekly. By now, those most familiar with the issue had diagnosed that he was clearly crawling up the shower drain. But why? Ah, that is the question. Freedom, of course! This defenseless slug wants nothing more than to enjoy the freedom he is entitled to as an American! Once word spread of this bold slug’s noble cause, Slugworth, as local residents dubbed him, became endeared to the hearts of the people who got word of his mythic story.
And so Slugworth continued to fight the good fight, crawling up the drain, but to no avail. He simply could not overcome the force of the water washing him back down to where he had begun his journey. But Slugworth was of determined mind, and would not give up that easily, ho ho! After much due deliberation, shower owners decided to reward Slugworth with what he so longed for, and on the morning of July 14th, Slugworth was released into the wild outdoors. “I could just see in his eyes the suffering and pain he had went through to come this far,” said Slugworth’s releaser, who chose to remain anonymous in an exclusive interview with Triangle Diaries. “He earned it; it was time.”
And so, Slugworth was cast into the wilderness, never to be heard from again. We can only assume he is living his dream, probably battling alligators on the weekends and climbing the corporate ladder. Someone’s got to break that slug glass ceiling. Slugworth, the inspiring hero, the misunderstood under-slug, the squishy fighter, will always serve as an example to us all that anything is possible. To this day, the people round these parts gather around their showers and sing of the legend of Slugworth the slug.